I'm not okay...

I'm just writing this to let you people know. Just in case. Because it's....I've been feeling like this since a long while now.

But I just feel so...bad. 

I feel annoying and undesired/uncared for. (I don't blame anyone. It's probably not the case but I just feel like that....)
I feel like I'm never going to get out of the situation I'm in because I can't do anything without needing guidance.
I feel like I'm never going to get anywhere in life.
I feel so unmotivated.
So empty.
I'm able to eat, but food tastes disgusting. All of it.
I don't know whether I want to stay in bed or get out of it.
I'm just so tired.
So bored.
I don't want to get out because I'd have to be accompanied but I don't want to, and my mother wouldn't let me try to go places alone.
I feel so alone.
I feel like shit.
I feel so helpless.
I'm scared shitless about death and everything related to it. Just thinking about it makes me panic.
Sometimes I wish I was never born. So then I wouldn't have all those problems.
Etc.

I'm so sorry.
But I'm not okay.....